Entries Tagged 'Personal' ↓

I can’t take you past dating, as I am on my third marriage and am working hard to figure out how to do that properly. I have a high level of confidence that should this marriage end I can go out and get plenty of dates, and it is on that basis that I provide this advice. I’m a pretty slow learner sometimes, but once I get something, I’ve got it. I’ve figured out the dating game, and very much hope that I have now learned enough about long-term relationships that all future dates are with my wife.

If you read my previous post, Suggestions for Unattached Men II – Getting Lots of Dates and Flirting, you should be in a position to get dates. Some of them won’t be actual dates, because you’ll just be out having fun with a woman, but you are evaluating whether you want it to turn into a date, or whether subsequent outings will be dates.

At this point, I need to make a distinction, and so do you. Divide women into two groups: women you want to have sex with and think you could have a relationship with and women you only want to have sex with. If you’re not thinking sexually about a woman, then perhaps you’re not really interested in her. Either that, or you have an idealised idea of a “pure” relationship and need to get over that or you’ll mess it up. Continue reading →

I normally write about climate change, peak oil, sustainability, and so on, but occasionally I write a personal post. Suggestions for Unattached Men was one such, and it quickly climbed into the list of Popular Posts, so I thought some more detailed suggestions might be welcomed. Here they are.

First, I am now married. Second, I was never a ‘ladies man,’ but I did ok. I also did a lot of research on improving my confidence and success with women – and I put that research into practice. I’ve recommended some books at the end of this post; buy them, borrow them, but read them. The most important part is doing.

What you do depends upon where you are, confidence-wise, with the ladies. My goals were:

• Get to a point where I could talk to any woman confidently
• Go out with those women out I found appealing

That’s it. Once you get to that level, you have no problem getting dates and girlfriends, although keeping them is more complicated. (See Suggestions for Unattached Men for, well, suggestions, and for insights into the female psyche.) Continue reading →

(This article makes more sense if you read the first part: Why don’t more of us conserve more? I’m looking at you…and myself.)

Given the challenges we face – climate change, peak oil, etc – why don’t I reduce my lifestyle further, even below that of ‘developed world middle class’? Why shouldn’t everyone who calls him or herself ‘environmentally aware?’

• I am not saying I am entitled to this lifestyle, only that I have it, it’s good, and it would be foolish to give it up unless forced;

BECAUSE

• It is possible to create a middle class lifestyle that is carbon-neutral, sustainable, doesn’t exploit people, and so on;

BUT

• We allowed corrupt people to take advantage of imperfect systems to make doing the right thing very difficult and expensive.

The best known way to get people to behave according to social norms is – peer pressure. I’m working hard to push us over the tipping point where it is normal to conserve, normal to live within your ecological means, and shameful to waste.

Whether I succeed or fail in creating this, some of my journey must on roads rather than rails. Solar houses are not commonly built, so I must build my own, and in the meantime I will endeavour to live in comfortable, but not excessive, surroundings.  Continue reading →

Many of us realise the nature of the threat posed by climate change, peak oil, peak everything else, fisheries collapse, ocean acidification, desertification…the list is getting longer, especially recently.¹ Even if you don’t know about all of these dangers, you know enough about one or two to know that one or two is enough to do us in. Yet many people still live lifestyles they know to be wildly unsustainable, even actively harmful. Why?

This is not the place for a detailed discussion of each of the threats previously mentioned. I am going to assume that, if you are reading this, you accept that we face at least one very severe threat that will cause great harm. There will be damage to individual and social prosperity, the economy at large, health, our standard of living, and so on. If unchecked, it has the potential to set civilisation and population back considerably. There may be differences over timeline, level of awareness, beliefs about our ability to adapt, and so forth, but we all accept that we face a severe threat. There are millions of people who accept this about climate change and/or peak oil, and/or other environmental concerns and/or etc.

And yet you still drive?

I still drive. I am very aware of the extent of many of these dangers, and how driving is contributing to making them worse. I know carbon emitted by me² indirectly contributed to the drying up of Lake Chad, which resulted in millions being driven from their lands into other, already crowded lands…and a genocide ensued. I know that any carbon emitted by me is contributing to sea level rise that will drown parts of Delta, BC, just across from my home of Victoria.

And yet I still drive, and so do many millions of ‘ecoaware’ people. How can I live with myself? Continue reading →